I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
