if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Randomize