hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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