She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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