Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
