dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
