member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
