We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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