i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
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you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
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You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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