My cat gives me a boner
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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