ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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