I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize