If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
