2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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