Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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