You smell like a Billy Joel song
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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