I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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