I cannot find my penis.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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