I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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