my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
