I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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