If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
