I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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