I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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