got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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