Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Randomize
