Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
