I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
