so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
