I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
