wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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