well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
