why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
soo... how was my night?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
