Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
