So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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