I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
