i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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