Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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