KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
two words...techno handjob
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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