With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
try to milk me bitch
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
