I feel like I'm in dance class right now
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
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