I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
