We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Acid is not a monday night drug
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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