did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
