Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
