chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
