you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
