Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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