Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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