My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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