no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
