that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I could fuck to npr.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
