Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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