So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
