Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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