While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
