so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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