thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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