Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
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