Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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