your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Terrible idea I love it
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
