new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
